Ok, well...I really wasn't sure what I was going to write about but as I start some recent events have me reeling with happiness. I had the privilege last night to attend the Transgender Day of Remembrance at our local Equality Center. It was relocated due to our lovely weather. Anyway, I first off was impressed that we even had any type of remembrance locally and also that we have such a nice facility to host it. I have never been to the Center...I haven't ever really been into any type activism other than my occasional myspace blog ranting. But last night, it felt good to be with others who cared about an issue so close to my heart...to my life.
And this leads me to another topic. I haven't really met in real life any other trans men. Well, locally. I know some bois in Arizona.
And I think I've been avoiding it. I felt like it was too early, that I wouldn't be perceived as trans if I couldn't 'pass' Now, I know this is totally silly and neurotic of me, but that is par for the course in my brain! But last night meeting some others like me was totally empowering for me. Not that I've necessarily felt alone, to be honest I don't know how I've felt not having talked with anyone "like me" I just have always been a bit of a loner, go it my own way type of person.
But last night showed me that we have a presence in NWA. I knew we did but this reaffirmed it.
And it was good for my girl to meet another wife. She is so strong for me and supportive but I know she needs to talk with others too. This shit ain't easy!
To wrap up this monologue of ADD-ness I just want to say I feel empowered and validated today. And that makes me feel grreat!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Gillette Man I am not!
So, I once incorrectly assumed that women have the bulk of day to day grooming but that’s just not true. Now, in my defense, I’m not that naive but I just thought society told women how they were supposed to look and not so much men. Basically, it’s about the difference between how the sexes are viewed in regards to hygiene. As a teenager, when it came time to shave my legs and pits as girls are expected to do, I resisted. I was annoyed that I couldn’t control how I wanted my body to look and that others looked upon certain things with disdain. I found hair pretty damn innocuous at that time in my life, still somewhat do. Possibly it’s because mine’s always been blonde and fine.
Needless to say, I fell to peer-pressure and my mother repeatedly telling me the story of her twin college roommates from Europe who did not shave and how gross it was. A story I grew tired of very quick, especially since my mother is somewhat progressive and open in her thinking. I was annoyed that she openly displayed such closed-mindedness. Though looking back now, I think it was probably just her way of protecting me. Guiding me into what society says I’m supposed to look like. But eventually, I didn’t give a fuck for society nor what my mother thought and quit shaving all together and it was just fine.
So, at this point in my transition I now have hair growing pretty much everywhere…or little ingrown hairs showing me where else my body is trying to pop out these coarse dark hairs, like nothing I’ve had before. It’s kind of cool, yet so foreign to me. But I like it, I like having a happy trail. I like getting scruff on my face. But the problem is I am finding that once again, I need to groom. So far obviously, so new in this journey, I only have to shave my face about every two and a half weeks. I let my facial hair grow until it’s just about obvious that I’m growing a beard and then I shave it off. This is due to the annoying fact that I’m not out everywhere, haven’t made the explanation to lots of acquaintances in my life. So I don’t want to be perceived as “a girl with a beard”, because we all know I’ll end up in some sideshow. Which I have a definite curiosity with the circus in general. Ha, I kid...
So anyway, I shave. I do it with pride and meticulousness. The problem is…I suck. I always miss some part of my face, a few whiskers along my lip, a patch of hair on my cheek. Jesus, who knew shaving your fucking face, was such a pain in the ass process. And if you know me, you know that I hate not being good at something. I am such a natural at so many things, that if it’s something I’m not immediately good at, I don’t do it. Basically you could say I’m a quitter! So last night I decided to just do it twice, razor burn be damned. I shaved my whole face carefully with a precision I don’t reserve for most things. I’m too ADD to be precise. Then I rinsed my face and shaved again, once more with a slow and steady hand. And I was so proud. I knew I had gotten it. I knew I had made my face smooth and baby butt soft. I succeeded. As I got out of the shower with a big grin, I called to my girl to come revel in my excitement with me. As she came into the bathroom, she had to remove her glasses for the steam was fogging them up. She walked up to me with a smile and squinted to look…and I’ll be goddamn if the first thing she did was grin and say…you missed some. This sweet girl who needs glasses to see most anything, especially I would think, my peach fuzz. She laughs when I dispute her findings and says I can see it without my glasses so yes, you missed some. Well, fuck me running….Grizzly Adams, here I come!
Needless to say, I fell to peer-pressure and my mother repeatedly telling me the story of her twin college roommates from Europe who did not shave and how gross it was. A story I grew tired of very quick, especially since my mother is somewhat progressive and open in her thinking. I was annoyed that she openly displayed such closed-mindedness. Though looking back now, I think it was probably just her way of protecting me. Guiding me into what society says I’m supposed to look like. But eventually, I didn’t give a fuck for society nor what my mother thought and quit shaving all together and it was just fine.
So, at this point in my transition I now have hair growing pretty much everywhere…or little ingrown hairs showing me where else my body is trying to pop out these coarse dark hairs, like nothing I’ve had before. It’s kind of cool, yet so foreign to me. But I like it, I like having a happy trail. I like getting scruff on my face. But the problem is I am finding that once again, I need to groom. So far obviously, so new in this journey, I only have to shave my face about every two and a half weeks. I let my facial hair grow until it’s just about obvious that I’m growing a beard and then I shave it off. This is due to the annoying fact that I’m not out everywhere, haven’t made the explanation to lots of acquaintances in my life. So I don’t want to be perceived as “a girl with a beard”, because we all know I’ll end up in some sideshow. Which I have a definite curiosity with the circus in general. Ha, I kid...
So anyway, I shave. I do it with pride and meticulousness. The problem is…I suck. I always miss some part of my face, a few whiskers along my lip, a patch of hair on my cheek. Jesus, who knew shaving your fucking face, was such a pain in the ass process. And if you know me, you know that I hate not being good at something. I am such a natural at so many things, that if it’s something I’m not immediately good at, I don’t do it. Basically you could say I’m a quitter! So last night I decided to just do it twice, razor burn be damned. I shaved my whole face carefully with a precision I don’t reserve for most things. I’m too ADD to be precise. Then I rinsed my face and shaved again, once more with a slow and steady hand. And I was so proud. I knew I had gotten it. I knew I had made my face smooth and baby butt soft. I succeeded. As I got out of the shower with a big grin, I called to my girl to come revel in my excitement with me. As she came into the bathroom, she had to remove her glasses for the steam was fogging them up. She walked up to me with a smile and squinted to look…and I’ll be goddamn if the first thing she did was grin and say…you missed some. This sweet girl who needs glasses to see most anything, especially I would think, my peach fuzz. She laughs when I dispute her findings and says I can see it without my glasses so yes, you missed some. Well, fuck me running….Grizzly Adams, here I come!
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