It's a juggling act...and I'm not such a great juggler!

So these past several weeks have just been quite turbulent, my emotions have run from frighteningly angry to a strange despair to quiet acceptance and back again. To start off the ride, I hurt my back. Now I do physical work so I’m used to a sore back occasionally after work. But I’ve never really hurt my back to the point which I stop what I’m doing, try not to drop to my knees, and take deep breaths to evaluate the seriousness of the injury. And when I couldn't’ twist my body to the left without taking my breath away I figured I had fucked some shit up! So, I kind of stood in the garden for a moment, quite unsure of the next step. Then realized I needed to go into the administrative office and tell HR. Well, they were thrown off a bit I think because I’ve worked at my company for 10 years not with no Work Comp complaints so I think they weren’t sure I was serious at first. But, I was serious. Basically I ended up at a chiropractor which wasn't a big deal. He helped and I recovered, thank god because then my girl ended up in the hospital and had to have surgery. I'll let her write about that though. Thankfully she's better and our lives are possibly back on track. We are almost there with the house, finances, and ourselves...almost. :)
My goal for right now is to get my body back under control. When is so freaking hot outside, the last thing I want to do is work out or any physical labor for that matter, unless I'm getting paid to do it.
(I wrote part of this blog a while back so I hope it isn't too disjointed...well, at least more than normal!)
Things are going ok as far as my job. I've basically accepted the changes of the guard here and am just trying to make it work. No use fighting something I have no control over. The rumor is my department will go back to where it was and I won't work for such a c*nt anymore. (btw, I hate that word normally, I only use it in extreme circumstances to prove my true disdain for someone.)
I also applied for a similar position elsewhere and was called in for an interview but the guy never called me back to let me know the exact time. With my low self esteem professionally, I was mildly upset. But I know someone at that company who called their HR department and apparently they haven't filled the position and are notoriously slow at hiring. I really just want this job for my back pocket in case all hell breaks loose here even though it would be a significant pay cut. Which if you're a regular reader, you might have noticed I'm not the best with the funds I have now....let alone a large pay cut...I'd be screwed. Ha.
The great thing is that I seem to now have a sense of pride about who I am now. It's not as hard for me to tell people to call me by my boy name. Or to just come out and let people in on what's going on with me. And if I were to get that job, that's just what I would do. I think now that I look the part these days, it's actually easier and more simple to request my boy name and pronouns even in professional situations where my legal name is a dead give away. It just makes more sense to call me Jack.
Man, I feel like it's been so long since I've written a blog which it has. And I have so much to say but not so much time to tell it. Grrrr, that's another small issue at home....we are currently without Internet. But thinking that shall change soon if all goes well.
Like I said above...it's a juggling act...some days it's with tennis balls, some days it's with knives......just when you think it's safe with the tennis balls, one hits you in the eye! Be safe ya'll...and I promise to not have such a random, nonsensical post next time....just needed to check in and let you know we aren't dead!
Later!
J