Taj Mahal...

So this is it.. No more excuses. No more time to pass. Today is the day it happens in my life. Jack and I started this blog to document his transition. I am jumping on this transition train as well. Before you freak out, no I am not transgendered. I am, however, tired of being the fat girl on this hot studs arm. I have a goal. Within the next year, I want to start a burlesque troupe. To reach this goal, I am going to have to start a life change within myself first. I love the curves of my body, but feel there should be a bit less body to go along with those curves. You only have one life to live, and damn it you have to live it to the fullest! 10 days ago, my dad lost his battle with cancer. One night ago he came to me in my dream. Today, I start the change in my life.

I have come to realize today that I can no longer be a victim. I AM A SURVIVOR! If the world knows what skeletons live in your closet, they have nothing to hold against you. I am going to put my skeletons out there so that I have nothing to hide behind anymore. I was sexually abused as a child. I grew up with a mother that only cared about perfection. I have had an eating disorder for close to 20 years. I am a mother who lost her children to my own mother because of who I am, a queer femme. My children are bi-racial. I live in a state that will go down in a blaze of confederate glory before they will let queers raise children. I am a passive activist who needs to get off her ass and start doing my part to change the world. When shit gets hard, I bail. I am in constant fear of disappointing those around me. I disappoint myself on a daily basis. I can no longer put up perfection for appearances. My flaws are beautiful! Its time to embrace them. I lost 17 years with my dad because I listened to my mother. When my father died, I kept thinking why him and not her? I am, today, letting go of the hate I have in my heart, because it is only keeping ME down. My family is not perfect and that is ok. I went to school for a career that I did not choose, it was chosen for me. I do not want to be a nurse anymore. I love fashion and I think its time I start pursuing that. I am talented and will not waste it for one more day! I am in love with a boy that has girl parts and fuck anyone that doesn't accept that! My dad and that side of my family love him and that is all that matters! The saddest and happiest day was reading my dad's obituary, Jack was listed next to my name as a survivor... I got the message daddy... Thanks!

So this is the plan.. Today starts the rest of my life... Our life! I am not going on a diet, but I am going to start treating my body and my self as a palace instead of a dumping ground. I will shine her and buff her and make sure she knows everyday how fucking loved she is. I will work her and honor her and most importantly... I will love her as he already does....

No more excuses... No more hiding... This is it.... Now if you will excuse me, I have to JUMP!!!!!

We are all in this together...Loves~ JGirl