First off I'd like to discuss my appreciation for shoes. I LOVE shoes. If I made better money I would honestly say I was obsessed with shoes, but I won't say that because I don't buy them that often. But right now I do want a new pair...a very specific type of shoe. These shoes to be exact....
But guess what? I have what they officially call simple incomplete syndactyly. WTF? Argh, I have loved my 'deformity' all my life! I love my feet, I think I have super cute toes! Even in church when the high and mighty small town bitches made fun of me, I wasn't deterred from loving them! But oh no....now this company had to go and make SHOES like these! Well thanks a lot....I jokingly said one day maybe they would make me a special pair if I sent them a foot imprint...and guess what I found on their website? This is posted in their FAQ section.
CAN I WEAR FIVEFINGERS IF I HAVE WEBBED TOES OR SYNDACTYLY?
Unfortunately the design of FiveFingers does not accommodate webbed toes or Syndactyly. We are unable to make custom FiveFingers to fit specific foot needs.
Well fuck you Vibram. I don't want your hoity toity yippy shoes anyway. (Yes I do and if a rep is EVER reading this blog, please please please get them to make me some, I will pay extra and be your friend forever!)
hahaha....waiting, waiting, waiting..............
Now onto another subject. My hair, yes...I am weirded out by my hair these days. I'm only going to assume it's due to the T that my hair is changing. It's changing texture, i.e. it's getting curly! I have also due to money restrictions quit getting professional haircuts. Something I think my inner gay boy LOVES to get! So needless to say my hair got pretty long. And was super curly. To the point that I just couldn't do a thing with it! (and that last sentence is said with an accent, which one I am unsure of.) So, I headed to a friends house and had her get out the clippers and her scissors and shore my locks. She isn't a pro btw but she does a good job, plus it's kind of like a salon because her and her girlfriend have a beer fridge with home brew ON TAP! So, hell....pretty much like a salon albeit a dykey one...haha So, my haircut turned out great for a freebie and given that my hairdresser was drinking beer, I am more than pleased.
Two days from today I will be either on my way or in Wisconsin. The timeline is fuzzy only because the girl and I have differing opinions on the schedule. But, there I am ALL boy. I won't have to worry about running into "girl world" friends. Is that even what I should call it? I have no idea how to address that part of me. Any suggestions? Anyway, I am so excited. I pass most of the time these days but get constant reminders of "girl world" from work, family, and just previous acquaintances that I try hard to avoid but in our wee little metropolis, it's difficult. Speaking of which, I have been getting stares more often as of late. Well, I think I have anyway. Even though I used to get stares in my kirk Cobain phase too. But recently I was getting a stare down from an old man. So of course my mind started racing. "He's on to me" or "He fucking knows!" or "Oh shit, this mother fucker wants to kill me.", the last statement is pretty much where my mind went. He just had this look of scorn and hatred. Now, it could have been super unrelated and he wasn't even looking at me, maybe he was constipated and just pissed that he ran out of prunes. Maybe his SSI check hadn't been mailed yet and he was jonesin for some Johnny Walker Red. Who knows, but this made me think...have I always been so paranoid? Will I continue to be this paranoid? The funny thing is, back in the day...I used to stare back with as much hatred and scorn they were giving me. But these days, since I've started on T, I am relatively laid back. I don't have that pent up anger towards society. Now don't get me wrong...I can get super pissed and freak out...but it's quick and over. And I like it that way!
Oh well, whatever...I'm just going to go about my life knowing I'm doing what I want, are they? I'm happy, are they? Probably not....and since I have prunes in my fridge, I'm walking on sunshine, so there mother fucker! hahaha....later, J
2 comments:
Personally I find your posts very promising not only for you, but for me. You make so much sense even when your going through such a change in your life. You know what you want and you are doing what you must to achieve it. Very inspiring for even me. Tho we lead very different lives, I need inspiration from someone and your post did just that. I love it that my dear friend has found you. You compliment each other very well. Keep your head high and ignore the stares... as you said "he isn't happy with his life or else he would accept you and yours!" I love you and stay strong! Kisses and hugs.... Amber
Thanks Amber....I have so much to say but my brain isn't allowing it to come out...cept in bits and pieces which is what this blog is...glad you enjoy. Please keep reading and commenting. And your dear friend is pretty damn special! ;)
Post a Comment