When pride has to take a back seat....

Friday July 30th marks the day when I took another step towards my transition. I went to a consultation with a top surgeon. I was planning on having several consultations but after meeting this doctor and his staff, I have decided to go with Dr. Raphael in Texas. I met Dr. Brownstein once at a conference and he gave me a packet of his pricing and explained in detail his surgery procedure and though I thought his procedure was great, his pricing was comparable, I decided that San Fran would be too far for me, not feasible monetarily. And though I haven’t met or talked with Dr. Garramone, my third choice, I once again thought about the feasibility of going to Florida.
So, I’ve chosen Dr Raphael and even though the parking lot was full of high end cars, the waiting room full of high end people, they made me feel comfortable. They all called me by the right pronoun and name. Even when I had to hand the receptionist my driver’s license, I shyly said my legal name is on that, she smiled and said ok…like she already knew that’s what it would be. It was a surreal experience. I have plenty of friends who support me. I pass pretty well these days out in public so it was really great for a professional group of people who KNOW what’s up, didn’t judge and treated me with respect.
So after the meeting with the doctor and his charming assistant, I was elated! He told me that I had great pectoral definition and I can expect great results. He seemed excited at the prospect of sculpting my chest. Though he may act that way with anyone, he seemed generally pleased about the prospects of me having a great male chest. Though at this point, that isn't such an issue, I’d rather just have my chest flat than to have the incorrect gender signifiers attached to my chest. But of course everyone wants their body to have that "perfect" look that society expects of us humans, whether you admit it or not. So I was quite pleased at his positive outlook.
Now the downside, in the packet we were given were the names of several medical credit companies they use. You can apply online with all of them so that's exactly what I did once we returned to the hotel room. I was concerned because even though when I purchased my house I had excellent credit; things have fallen apart little by little. First, just buying the house adds a big debt. Then some medical bills came back to haunt me. Then we became a one income household for a wee bit and so bills got paid but usually late. Anyway, I know this isn't an issue any other human hasn't faced out there. But I was hoping things were on my side and that wouldn't hurt my chances at the medical credit....well, it did. I was denied...every time! So let's just say that put a damper on the whole experience. I should have waited I guess for a little while longer.
So now, it's come to this....that wee little button above that says donate. Grrr, I hate asking for help. I'd rather chew my arm off than ask someone to open the trap. Some sort of stupid pride I suppose. Plus, some of you on my readers list I know personally, and love you all but we aren't the Rockefeller or Walton bunch. So, I am going to gather some things together to sell. Put my savings reserved for house emergencies just for surgery and if it happens that far out, my tax return. So little by little I know we will get it. I'm possibly going to see if insurance is even an option AT ALL. The Doctor didn't seem too positive about that though, plus I bet I'd need to pay in advance anyway. But I will exhaust all methods till I have $6750 in my "Chest-Away Cabaret" account and then I'll send all my donors pics! ;) I mean, we might have to make a calendar of all the cute boys I know. Give me ideas on what you would like for your donation if you chose to give one...:)
And my wonderful girlfriend and friends are planning a soiree as a fundraiser. Another thing that makes me a bit uneasy....but once again, I'll step back and swallow my pride. So details will come available once the plan is in place. But the name, Chest Away Cabaret hints to some of the theme...so be prepared. And hope to see everyone.
Later,
J