Ok, a warning...this blog is going to be whiny and rant-ish....so if you are in a good mood and can't deal with my rare negativity, better log off. If you're still reading, thanks for listening. :)
Well, for starters my hair is falling out. I knew this going in but I had the concept of "it won't happen to me" Yeah, it is. So fuckity fuck. And I am growing hair EVERYWHERE and where it's not growing, I am having acne/ingrown hairs that are bugging the fuck out of me. The funny thing the new hair is dark...I have blond hair....so whatever. And if I hear one more time..."Do you have a cold?" I will punch a mother fucker. You know, I don't feel like screaming "I am transgender, becoming a boi, from being born a girl!!!!" I mean, one gets tired of talking about it. I just want to change and be me, and not have to answer to anyone else, explain anything. Just leave me alone.
By the way, for those familiar with FtM hormone therapy and all that it entails....I know all these things above would happen, I'm just trying to deal with them so please don't lecture me on the process of taking T. I just want to bitch ok?
Also....with the increased libido and size of an unmentionable comes along a de-sensitivity to stimulation. Ugh, now days I call masturbation "jack-hammering" Haha, get it? "Jack" hammering.....So that's been a bit frustrating for my girl.....but she's so sweet and patient, we'll get there and I will grow into my new "junk" It will just take some getting used to.
And for my grand finale of this blog: I HAVEN'T TOLD MY BROTHER (who lives with me) OR MY PARENTS! Ugh, and I don't think I can. My mom has already mentioned my voice and I just avoided the situation. And my brother keeps making girl jokes and shit even though i told him last year about my trans status. But I haven't told him about my hormones yet.
I mean, I am 37 years old....and I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TELL THEM!
fuck fuck and fuckity fuck
Later,
J
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